Feeling Stuck: Why You Quit Your Job Too Soon, Reason 1

               You will tend to feel stuck whenever you’re in a bad situation without the ability to change your circumstances.  It feels like you have to either accept your fate or escape somehow.  In our modern culture, where quick fixes are the norm, the instinct to escape unpleasant situations has become almost reflexive.   

There are several specific subcategories of feeling stuck like Reason 2 (Feeling Undervalued), Reason 4 (Lack of Growth Opportunities) and Reason 8 (Stagnant Salary).  We will dive into each of these in future posts because of how important and unique they are from one another.  Overall, the feeling of being stuck or having a lack of options is very frustrating. 

According to a Pew Research survey in 2022, 33% of respondents said that feeling stuck was a major reason for quitting their job and another 30% of those surveyed said it was a minor reason.  If you’re feeling the urge to quit your job, there is a 63% chance that feeling stuck is a motivating factor so it’s well worth examining the issue.  Hopefully I can offer you other options besides staying miserable or quitting. 

I’m reminded of a story I heard as a child.  Two men were walking to their cabin in the woods when they were set upon by a large grizzly bear.  They sprinted away but the bear gave chase.  Winded, the first man turned aside to climb up a nearby tree while the second pressed on to the safety of the cabin.  To their horror, both men discovered the terrible fact that bears are expert climbers.  Like the men in this story, many try to escape their problems, only to find the problem follows them.  You must learn how to get through it.

               The feeling of not being in control is exceptionally common.  I would bet all 63% of those who listed feeling stuck as a reason for quitting would say that their circumstances were uniquely bad, that they were totally stuck, and that the best chance for improvement was to quit and go somewhere else. 

               There was an inspirational film called, “The Dead Poet’s Society” which starred the great Robin Williams.  It’s a story about a teacher who gave his students permission and support to pursue their passions and to think outside the box.  The unspoken tragedy of the story is that he failed to teach them the quiet persistence and resilience required to make their dreams come true.  Without the discipline to endure hard seasons, dreams will die unrealized. 

The trick to overcoming the feeling of being stuck is described best with the Stockdale Paradox, which Jim Collins referenced in his bestselling book, “Good to Great.”  I’ll let you read the book yourself but Admiral Stockdale was able to survive his time as a Prisoner of War in Vietnam because he engaged with the brutal facts of his reality without losing faith that he would prevail in the end. 

Perhaps the best illustration is a log splitter.  It is a large axe head attached to a hydraulic cylinder and powered by a small engine.  This simple machine applies 27 tons of pressure and can force its way through the most gnarly rounds of wood, but they move slowly.  This is the power of steady, focused effort over time. 

There are a thousand more examples and illustrations I can give but let me tell you what’s on the other side of feeling stuck.  

I once had my best year of work vaporized because my manager quit unexpectedly.  While he was there, he’d kept all of my greatest accomplishments to himself and, when he left, nobody knew what I had done.  I could have quit then.  Maybe I should have, but I didn’t.  I took a deep breath and did it again.  It only took a few months of dedicated hard work to prove my merit.  As disheartening as it was, as stuck as I felt, I refused to give up and it benefited me tremendously. The same is true for every dream, aspiration, and hope you have for your life. The good stuff is all waiting for you to persevere.

Here are some practical tips I use to combat feeling stuck. 

At Home

Home is where you have the most control over your circumstances.  Choose a few small chores and earn easy wins.  Clean your room, make the bed, go for a walk, play with your kids.  Clean out and wash your car.  Hikes are a great way to get perspective.  Once you’ve scored a couple wins, look at your work life and get it in order. 

At Work

Work is where you spend most of your waking hours during the week.  Arrive a few minutes early, organize your desk or work area.  Clean out your vehicle there, if you have one.  Spend some time reviewing your tasks to make sure you’re spending your time and effort where it really counts.  Create a list of time-wasting tasks and STOP doing them. 

Going back to punctuality, showing up a few minutes early is vitally important to control your circumstances.  First, it gives you flexibility in case of delays on the commute.  Arriving early reduces stress, reinforces professionalism, and sets a positive tone for your day.  It’s a simple, powerful habit that signals you’re a go-getter who has the company’s best interest at heart.  It is a cheap and easy way to set yourself up for success.

Closing

On the other side of this feeling of being stuck is every hope, dream, and aspiration that you’ve ever wished for yourself.  Do your best to be in control of your emotions.  Be patient when things go wrong or are delayed.  Everything takes time.  Watch as the circumstances slowly change in your favor and keep applying the pressure of your persistence and willpower.  Have faith.  Remember Admiral Stockdale, remember the man and the bear.  You must exhibit persistence and resilience.  You may be slowed down occasionally, but you will never be stuck again.