How I Handle Sales Stress

I typically fill a page or two of my yellow legal pad each day as I’m taking notes during calls, managing my priorities, etc.  If you read my notes, you’d notice two sentences written in cursive on almost every page.  The first is, "There is no spoon!" and the second is "Thanks for the Memories."

"There is no spoon" is a quote from the 1999 film, The Matrix. Neo (Keanu Reeves) is watching a young boy bend a spoon with his mind just by looking at it.  The boy explains that you can't bend a spoon with your mind.  That's impossible.  Instead, you are reminding yourself that there is no spoon (because they're in the Matrix... duh).

I write “There is no spoon!” as an exercise in discipline.  It helps me move forward with a project when I don’t want to.  Most often, I will go through the exercise before picking up the phone to check in with my customers.  I’m convinced our industry is filled with the best people on the planet and my customers are the cream of the crop.  Even so, there are some days where I just don’t want to pick up the phone.  It’s a lot like writer’s block, but for sales. 

In that moment, I will take a brief moment to write, “There is no spoon!”  Then I pick up my phone and call the first number on my list.  They answer, magic happens, and the next call is easier.  By the third call, I’m comfortable again with my voice and the next ten calls together go much easier than the first one did.  Discipline is all about the art of self-control.  Most think of that as pulling up the reins to restrain yourself from doing something you shouldn’t but it’s also urging yourself forward to do what you must, regardless of your emotions.  This is a very powerful tool for me that I use daily. 

The second thing I write is “Thanks for the Memories!”  There is a moment I reflect on in the 1995 film “Glory Daze,” starring Ben Affleck.  It’s towards the end of the film and the hothead of the group, Jack (Ben Affleck), sees his ex-girlfriend and her new boyfriend in a restaurant.  He reaches to grab a baseball bat, presumably to trash the guy’s car, but sets it down in favor of a sharpie.  On the window of the diner, Jack writes “Angst for the Memories.”  They wave goodbye, and he moves on.  I think it’s Jack’s way of apologizing for his behavior and making peace with circumstances that didn’t turn out like he wanted.

"Thanks" is my take on that moment because I want to make peace with rough circumstances and appreciate what came from the experience.  It applies to people who have been hard to work with or when plans don't work out like I wanted.  I try to recycle any bad memories and sift through them for the iconic good ones.  It might be an inside joke we had, some struggle we endured, or just the little idiosyncrasies that made the person unique in some way. 

I write this when a deal falls through that looked great from the beginning.  I’ve learned that there are times when you just can’t connect the dots for one reason or another.  It might be timing, budget, logistics, etc.  Sometimes you just get beat fair and square on price.  That’s okay.  Rather than get bummed out, I like to take a breath, write “Thanks for the memories,” and turn my attention to the next project. 

There is no way to success without failure.  It reminds me of the old saying, “practice makes perfect.”  Well, I don’t think perfection is attainable on this side of the grass, but I can definitely say that excellence is on the other side of a ton of practice and failure.  That’s why I try to make peace with whatever didn’t work out because surviving them means I’m on to the next step.  Even if that step means starting over from scratch, it’s okay.  It’s about progress, not perfection. 

The best stories in my life have come from the most difficult, challenging times.  I couldn’t tell you much about the various weddings, parties, or dances I’ve attended.  I can tell you in vivid detail about all of the times when things went sideways, and adventure ensued.  Those are always the best, most entertaining, and insightful stories.  I’m thankful for them.

So, the next time you feel yourself focusing on menial task rather than calling your customers, remember that it’s mind over matter and take action.  The next time something doesn't work out and you're starting to feel that sales stress, recycle it for the lessons and good memories. Make peace with it and move forward.  Life is short.  We only get one go at it.  These are a couple of little tricks I use to make sure I’m not getting in the way of my own best life.  Hopefully they’re helpful to you as well.